Marialogy – Sarcastic shit, and then some!

For å få tiden til å gå på en søndagsmorgen på jobb, den éne dagen ingen ringer, så fant jeg denne superlange meme-en. Du trenger virkelig ikke å lese det. It’s for my own good. You see, all play and no work makes Maria a dull (girl) boy too. Håper dere alle har hatt en trivelig påske! Det har jeg, og jeg har ømme ribbein og en haug med blåmerker som bevis på nettopp det. Og jeg har ikke vært på fjellet heller.

A
- Available:  VERY!
- Age:  20, going on 21 in May
- Annoyance: Major hypocrites who can’t even admit it
- Allergic: Nothing that I’m aware of
- Animal:  Not particularly fond of animals. They smell.
- Actor/Actress: Kristoffer Joner/Meryl Streep

B
- Beer: Duvel and San Miguel are goodies!
- Birthday/Birthplace:  May 11th, TRD
- Best Friends: You know, I’m not all that friendly, and certainly don’t favor one over the other of the ones I’m actually considering friends.
- Body Part on opposite sex:  Shoulders. Oh my…
- Best feeling in the world: The one surrounding you when you’ve managed a strenous task.
- Blind or Deaf:  Definitely blind. I need my music.
- Best weather:  I love summer rain, yet only the sun can make me blacker than black.
- Been in Love:  yep
- Been bitched out?:  Once or twice. I’m usually the one doing all the bitching around here.
- Been on stage?: Yes, several times, from lame-ass school plays/musicals to (sober) acapella performances at Studentersamfundet. You didn’t see that one coming, did you?
- Believe in yourself?: Depends on the situation.
- Believe in life on other planets: Some sort of life form, I’m sure. Critters.
- Believe in miracles: No
- Believe in Magic: No
- Believe in God: Hell no! Pun intended
- Believe in Satan: No
- Believe in Santa: No. Never have
- Believe in Ghosts/spirits: Absolutely
- Believe in Evolution: Of course!

C
- Car: Nah
- Candy: Oh, candy. Haven’t had ANY since New Year’s Eve. It’s actually going quite well, even though it’s Easter!
- Colour: I’ve always had a thing for olive…
- Cried in school: Oh yes.
- Chocolate/Vanilla: Choc
- Chinese/Mexican: Mexicana
- Cake or pie: Cake!
- Countries to visit: Ghana, the US, England, Ireland, Japan, Portugal, Cuba

D
- Day or Night: Night
- Dream vehicle: A Sea King? Haha
- Danced: Asking if I’ve ever danced? Seriously? …
- Dance in the rain?: I leave that for the boybands
- Dance in the middle of the street?:  It’s actually kinda happened. During Russetida.
- Do the splits?:  Oh, hell no!

E
- Eggs: If you remove the yolk, I’m good.
- Eyes: A rather light brown for my African genes, but I do have a dark ring around them, so…
- Everyone has: crawled out of a vagina. Unless it was a Caesarian
- Ever failed a class?: Yes, due to laziness and a huge dash of angsiety on the date of the exam.

F
- First crush: Ah yes, I remember that one. But I won’t share that here
- First thoughts waking up:  “Uggggghhhhhhhhhhh”, or something random from my dreaming still going on.
- Food: An awesome steak with random garlic items

G
- Greatest Fear: Becoming a cat lady
- Giver or taker: Deep down I’m a giver, although I love taking too (but I’ll never admit it!)
- Goals: Finish my grade in 2011 and pass the translator exams in Bergen come May 2012. Then we’ll see.
- Gum: is needed in every social occation!
- Get along with your parents?: Sure
- Good luck charms: Nah

H
- Hair Colour: It’s getting browner and browner every day. Like my skin! Hah!
- Height: 179 cm/5,9 ft
- Happy: I find myself smiling at life these days, actually.
- Holidays: are best spent in the city
- How do you want to die: Not sure, only that I want to die knowingly.
- Health freak?: Lol
- Hate:  is what I do for a living

I

- In guys
- Eye colour: Deep green, dark brown or icy blue. Depends on his skin + hair color, really.
- Hair Colour:  A chocolatey brown is preferable, but blondes aren’t that bad either. Redheads can stay away, though.
- Height: HAS HAS HASSSSSS to be taller. I’m tall and fat. Imagine how a shorter dude would make me look. Hello, Jabba!
- Clothing Style: Please stay away from jeans from such stores as Jack & Jones and Selected. The patterns are UGLY. Other than that, I don’t really care. Dress to the occasion is all I say.
- Characteristics: A proper language with a wide vocabulary (particularly in writing!), red in politics, smarter than me, future oriented, has to keep it real, somewhat spontanious, romantic and sarcastic. Any takers?

- Ice Cream: I like a good fruity sorbet. Not that fond of ice cream, really.
- Instrument: Tambourine! Best rhythm device ever.

J
- Jewelry: I like it tacky and ghetto. You know… Big, chunky hoops and all that. Apart from my ears I don’t really bother.
- Job: I work at Norgestaxi. No, I don’t drive a cab.

K
- Kids:  I hate them all! Snotty lil’ bastards!
- Kickboxing/karate: Kickboxing! It’s sexy.
- Keep a journal?:  Nope. Someone might read it!

L
- Longest Car Ride:  Trondheim – Denmark
- Love:  is heavy.
- Letter: M? …
- Laughed so hard you cried: hell yeah. Especially when my sister is around, she cracks me up
- Love at first sight: Nah. Lust a first sight, on the other hand…

M
- Milk flavour: CHOCOLATE
- Movie: Cidade de Deus
- Mooned anyone?: Yes. Me and this guy were supposed to do it, but he chickened out. Great laughter amongst the gang afterwards.
- Marriage: Absolutely! All legal business taken care of and you get to wear a gorgeous dress and get loads of gifts from distant relatives and a honeymoon? WHY NOT!
- Motion sickness?: From time to time. More seldom than monthly, weirdly enough.
- McD’s or BK:  The fries at BK are better, but Mickey D’s is nostalgia. I don’t really care, I don’t like neither’s hamburgers.

N
- Number of Siblings: 6; 5 in Ghana whom I’ve never met and a sister in Norway.
- Number of Piercings: None… just you wait until the end of April.
- Number: 3

O
- Overused Phrases: “Isshhh y’all ready?” and variations of “liksom”.
- One wish: Joy throughout life
- One phobia: Entomophobia. Definitely.

P
- Place you’d like to live: En Habana
- Pepsi/Coke: PEPPSI MÆKKS

Q
- Quail: You mean the bird? Or weed? I guess quail tastes delicious. The ganja definitely smells delish.
- Questionnaires: It’s aight.

R
- Reason to cry:  Death, heartbreak, joy
- Reality T.V.: I remember the good ol’ days when all we had was Villa Medusa. That’d be preferable.
- Radio Station: P3!!! “Radioresepsjonen” is my lover, and “Sexy” is my best friend. P3 Morgen is not that bad either. When P3 is being lame (Popsalongen, Juntafil) it’s Radio Norge, actually.
- Roll your tongue in a circle?: Yes?

S
- Song: Oh wow. Really? I can’t pick one.
- Shoe size: 41
- Sushi: Haven’t tasted it yet, but I’m getting there.
- Skipped school: Of course. And the school threats of failing me didn’t work either
- Slept outside: Yes.
- Seen a dead body?: Not that I know.
- Smoked?: Yes
- Skinny dipped?:  Does the tub count?
- Shower daily?: If I’m out and about, yes. If I’m chillaxing in the premises of my home I don’t necessarily do it.
- Sing well?: Some might say. I’m not too sure.
- In the shower?: Always!
- Swear?: Pretty much all the time.
- Stuffed Animals?: …..?
- Single/Group dates: I don’t date
- Strawberries/Blueberries: Strawberries!
- Scientists need to invent: An easier way for us Blackies to straighten our hair!

T
- Time for bed: Whenever I feel tired.
- Thunderstorms: Are awesome! Unless you’re in the middle of a field withouth rubber on your feet.
- Touch your tongue to your nose?: Nah

U
- Unpredictable: I’m predictable in the way that I’m unperdictable. Sad thing is people usually predict that.
- Under the influence?: Most of the time.
- Understanding?:  Always, but I seldom respect it.

V
- Vegetable you hate: Cabbage!
- Vegetable you love: Broccoli<3 and red onion<3
- Vacation spot: The sun, a white beach and blue water is all I need for it to be awesome.

W
- Weakness: Bad conscience in situations were I wasn’t the one doing wrong. And Jude Law.
- When you grow up: I’m having a kid and shall train it to be awesome.
- Which one of your friends acts the most like you: They’ve all got parts of me in them, but no one stands out as my “twin”.
- Who makes you laugh the most: The Jaw
- Worst feeling: Gloom
- Wanted to be a model?: No
- Where do we go when we die: Into the ground until we rot. Or on a mantle. Or to sea.
- Worst weather: Trondheim in March. Slippery all over!
- Walk with a book on your head?:  Not figuratively. Really bad posture.

X
- X-Rays: Are not awesome at all! I saw my underwear on my hip x-rays! I’m just glad we didn’t see the vag! God! …Really, they’re amazing. Too bad my hips weren’t fucked up enough for that operation. You should see me walk. Nasty.

Y
-Year it is now: 2010
-Yellow: Sun?

Z
- Zoo animal: Wolves and tigers
- Zodiac sign: Taurus

Akk, ja. Tre timer på jobb, og elleve minutter med samtale fordelt på syv kunder og to sjåfører. “Den stille uke” er en underdrivelse.